The Magic of Manners: Why “Please” and “Thank You” Still Matter

How simple words of courtesy hold the power to build trust, deepen respect, and strengthen human connection in a fast-paced world.

In partnership with

Friday, April 25, 2025

HR is lonely. It doesn’t have to be.

The best HR advice comes from people who’ve been in the trenches.

That’s what this newsletter delivers.

I Hate it Here is your insider’s guide to surviving and thriving in HR, from someone who’s been there. It’s not about theory or buzzwords — it’s about practical, real-world advice for navigating everything from tricky managers to messy policies.

Every newsletter is written by Hebba Youssef — a Chief People Officer who’s seen it all and is here to share what actually works (and what doesn’t). We’re talking real talk, real strategies, and real support — all with a side of humor to keep you sane.

Because HR shouldn’t feel like a thankless job. And you shouldn’t feel alone in it.

Please and thank you are still magic words.

– Unknown

This quote is simple, almost something you’d hear taught to a child. But its simplicity hides a deep truth about human interaction, respect, and the small courtesies that hold relationships—and society itself—together.

The Deeper Meaning Behind the “Magic”

The phrase reminds us that good manners are not outdated, nor are they just formalities. Words like “please” and “thank you” may seem ordinary, but they carry weight. They acknowledge another person’s humanity, effort, and presence. These small expressions act as social glue, fostering goodwill, trust, and a sense of mutual respect.

  • “Please” is more than a request; it signals humility. It shows that we recognize someone else’s autonomy and we are asking, not demanding.

  • “Thank you” is more than politeness; it is gratitude in action. It communicates that we see and value what someone else has done, no matter how small.

The “magic” lies in their impact. When spoken sincerely, these words soften resistance, open doors, and strengthen bonds. They transform simple transactions into moments of connection. For example, a genuine “thank you” to a cashier, coworker, or even a stranger can shift the tone of an entire interaction.

In a fast-paced, often transactional world, courtesy and gratitude stand out as powerful differentiators. They remind us that kindness does not have to be grand or costly—it can live in everyday speech.

Context and Origin

The origin of this saying is not tied to a single author but rather reflects a longstanding cultural emphasis on manners. Versions of it have appeared in etiquette guides, parenting books, and motivational writings for decades. The phrase often traces back to teachings we receive in childhood, when adults remind us that “please” and “thank you” are “magic words” that help us get along with others.

This teaching is rooted in both psychological and social truth: research shows that expressions of gratitude increase happiness, build stronger relationships, and even improve physical well-being. Across cultures, polite language serves the same essential function—it reduces conflict and fosters cooperation.

Takeaway for the Reader

It’s easy to overlook the small courtesies, especially when life feels busy or stressful. But the real “magic” in these words is that they never lose their power, no matter how old we get. If you want to elevate your relationships, your workplace interactions, or even your own sense of positivity, start with something as simple as adding more genuine pleases and thank yous into your daily life.

Resource Guide: The Power of Politeness and Gratitude

📚 Books

  1. The Power of Good Manners: How to Cultivate Civility in a Rude World by Peggy Post & Peter Post

  2. Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert A. Emmons

  3. Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct by P. M. Forni

🎙️ Podcasts & Talks

  1. The Science of Gratitude – Greater Good Science Center

  2. The Power of Simple Words – TEDx talk by Anjali Sharma

  3. Happier with Gretchen Rubin – Episodes on gratitude and everyday kindness

📖 Articles & Studies

  1. The Psychological Benefits of Gratitude – Harvard Health Publishing

  2. The Role of Politeness in Human Communication – Academic study on courtesy and cooperation

  3. Words Matter: How Politeness Shapes Workplace Culture – Forbes

🛠️ Practical Tools & Practices

  • Gratitude Journal: Keep a daily log of what you’re thankful for.

  • Politeness Check-In: Ask yourself each day: Did I say please? Did I say thank you? Did I mean it?

  • Compliment Practice: Pair “thank you” with a specific detail (“Thank you for explaining that—it really helped.”).