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Learning the Worth of What We Have: A Lesson from Schopenhauer on Loss and Gratitude

We often realize the value of people, moments, and experiences only after they’re gone. Here’s how to embrace their worth now—before loss becomes the teacher.

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Saturday, September 20, 2025

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Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.

– Arthur Schopenhauer

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788–1860), the German philosopher often remembered for his unflinching look at life’s struggles, believed that suffering and loss are not only inevitable but also instructive. This quote reflects his view that it is often only in the absence of something—whether it’s health, relationships, or stability—that we truly recognize its value.

The Deeper Meaning

At first glance, this quote may sound somber, but it reveals an important truth about human nature: we tend to overlook what’s constant in our lives until it disappears.

  • The value hidden in the ordinary: The comfort of good health, the stability of a job, or the love of a partner often fades into the background because it feels permanent. When it’s gone, we suddenly realize how essential it was.

  • A lesson in impermanence: Schopenhauer’s perspective reminds us that nothing is guaranteed. Loss is life’s way of forcing us to see what really matters.

  • Growth through pain: As painful as loss can be, it also shapes us. It refines our priorities, deepens empathy, and reminds us of the fragility of life.

  • A call to awareness: While loss is a powerful teacher, it doesn’t have to be the only one. We can choose to value what we have now, sparing ourselves from regret later.

Ultimately, this quote isn’t just about the inevitability of loss—it’s a challenge. It asks us to cultivate awareness and gratitude before something is gone.

Resource List: Cultivating Appreciation Before Loss

1. Daily Gratitude Practice

  • Keep a gratitude journal and jot down three things you’re thankful for each day.

  • Apps like Grateful or Presently can help you build the habit.

2. Mindful Living

  • Practice short mindfulness meditations with apps like Headspace or Calm.

  • Engage fully with small daily experiences—savoring food, listening deeply, noticing nature.

3. Strengthening Relationships

  • Tell loved ones what they mean to you now, not just later.

  • Try the “Three Kind Words” practice: share three affirmations or words of appreciation daily.

  • Explore The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman to understand how people best feel valued.

4. Reflection Exercises

  • Journaling prompts:

    • “What in my life would I miss most if it disappeared tomorrow?”

    • “What am I underappreciating right now?”

  • Try the Stoic practice of “negative visualization” to imagine temporary absence and deepen gratitude.

5. Books on Gratitude & Appreciation

  • The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu

  • Thanks! by Robert Emmons

  • The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer

6. Legacy & Memory Practices

  • Create memory albums or write letters to loved ones while they’re still here.

  • Volunteer in your community to see abundance from a new perspective.

  • Try life review journaling to appreciate your story as it unfolds.

Final Takeaway

Loss is one of life’s most powerful teachers, but it doesn’t have to be the only one. Schopenhauer reminds us that the worth of things often becomes clear only when they’re gone. By practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and intentional awareness now, we can learn the lesson without waiting for the pain of absence.

Cherish what you have today—because one day, it may only exist as a memory.