Monday, January 1, 2023

Finding Yourself: The Journey of Unbecoming

Have you ever felt like you're trying to become someone you're not? Or have you felt pressure to act in a certain way because that's what others expect from you? Well, you're not alone. Many of us spend a lot of time and energy trying to become something, maybe to fit in or to meet other people's expectations. But what if the real journey is not about becoming anything at all? What if it's more about unbecoming everything that isn't really you? Let's explore this idea together!

What Does "Unbecoming" Mean?

"Unbecoming" is a process that involves deep introspection and honesty with oneself. It's about examining the various aspects of our lives – our choices, our relationships, our careers, and our hobbies – and asking ourselves whether they align with our true selves. For instance, you might have chosen a career path because it's what your family expected, or you might be following a lifestyle trend just because it's popular, not because it genuinely suits you. Unbecoming involves recognizing these mismatches and having the courage to say, "This isn't really me."

This journey often requires us to confront some uncomfortable truths. For many, it can mean acknowledging and letting go of long-held beliefs that were imposed by others, rather than chosen. It might involve changing habits that have become so ingrained we don't even remember why we started them in the first place. It's a process of questioning, reflecting, and, sometimes, unlearning. As you unbecome, you may find yourself letting go of things you once defined yourself by, which can be both liberating and challenging. It's about creating space for your true self to emerge, unencumbered by the expectations and projections of others.

Furthermore, unbecoming is not a one-time event, but a continuous journey of self-evolution. As we grow and evolve, our understanding of ourselves deepens, and we might discover new layers that need to be shed. It's a dynamic process, where we continually come closer to our core. This journey helps us build a life that is more authentic and fulfilling. As we unbecome, we make room for new experiences, relationships, and passions that truly resonate with our soul. It's a path towards a more authentic, joyful, and meaningful life.

Why Do We Become Things We're Not?

From the time we're young, we get messages about who we should be. These messages can come from our families, friends, schools, TV shows, and social media. We might be told to act in a certain way, to like certain things, or to have specific goals. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we start changing to fit these expectations.

The Pressure of Fitting In

One of the biggest reasons we become things we're not is the desire to fit in. It's natural to want to be part of a group and to feel accepted. But sometimes, this can lead us to hide parts of ourselves that we think others might not like or understand.

The Journey of Unbecoming

The journey of unbecoming is all about getting back to our true selves. It's about asking, "Who am I, really?" and "What do I genuinely like or believe?" This journey can be challenging because it means questioning a lot of things we've been taught and maybe even standing out from the crowd.

How to Start Unbecoming

1. Self-Reflection: Spend some time thinking about what you truly enjoy and value. Are there things you do just because others expect it?

2. Question Beliefs: Ask yourself why you believe certain things. Are these beliefs genuinely yours, or did you adopt them from someone else?

3. Embrace Your Uniqueness: We're all different, and that's a good thing! Embrace the things that make you unique, even if they're not what everyone else seems to like or do.

4. Let Go of Fear: Fear of not being accepted can hold us back. Remember, it's more important to be true to yourself than to fit into a mold that doesn't suit you.

Benefits of Being Your True Self

When you start to unbecome and embrace who you really are, you might find:

- More Happiness: Being true to yourself is incredibly freeing and satisfying.

- Better Relationships: When you're authentic, you attract people who like you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.

- Personal Growth: Understanding yourself better can lead to personal growth and a clearer path to your goals.

Challenges Along the Way

This journey isn't always easy. You might face confusion about who you are, or you might worry about what others will think. But remember, this is a process. It's okay to take your time and to be gentle with yourself as you figure things out.

Embracing the Journey

Let's circle back to the heart of our discussion. The real adventure in life might not be about becoming something new. Instead, it could be about unbecoming everything that isn't really you. This means shedding all the layers, expectations, and influences that hide your true self. Sure, this journey of unbecoming might seem daunting at first. It's not always easy to let go of the familiar, even if it doesn't quite fit us. But remember, every step you take in shedding these layers brings you closer to your authentic self.

Imagine life as a journey where each step towards unbecoming is a step towards clarity and self-discovery. With each layer you peel away, you might find more joy, peace, and a sense of purpose. It's like clearing the fog that has been clouding your vision. Suddenly, the path ahead becomes clearer, and you can see where you truly want to go. This journey can help you understand not just who you are, but also what you truly want from life.

It's important to acknowledge that this journey is unique for everyone. Your path of unbecoming will look different from someone else's, and that's perfectly okay. Embrace your individual journey and know that it's okay to take it at your own pace. There's no rush in the journey of self-discovery.

Also, remember that unbecoming doesn't mean you lose everything. It's not about discarding everything from your past. Instead, it's about sifting through your experiences, beliefs, and habits to find the gems that truly resonate with your core. It's about keeping what serves you and letting go of what doesn't. This process helps in building a stronger, more authentic version of you.

As you continue this path, you might encounter challenges and doubts. There might be moments where you question your choices or feel uncertain about the future. During these times, it's crucial to be kind to yourself and to remember why you started this journey in the first place. Surround yourself with people who support your growth and understand your journey. Look for inspiration in the stories of others who have walked this path before you.

In the end, the journey of unbecoming is about coming home to yourself. It's about stripping away the external influences and listening to your inner voice. So, take a step today towards unbecoming and discovering the amazing person you truly are. Trust the process, embrace the journey, and look forward to the beautiful destination: a life lived authentically as the real you.